


I love you, and I can't help it.

by winchester_novak13



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Sex, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Comforting, Coming Out, Cute, Dates, Eventual Smut, Fluffy, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Impala, Love, M/M, Oral Sex, Power Bottom Dean Winchester, Slow Burn, Smut, Switching, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, nerd!cas, self doubt, sexual acts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2018-10-08 18:35:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10393515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winchester_novak13/pseuds/winchester_novak13
Summary: Destiel. How it all began. Dean Winchester wants to get to know Castiel Novak, he doesn't take no for an answer.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything like this before. There will be eventual smut. Not finished but it will be eventually. Criticism is welcome. Please comment and thank you for reading. :)

"I, Castiel Novak, am in love with my boyfriend." Castiel had no idea of how many times he had said this to himself in the mirror, or in his head or even out loud. That is where he imagines all the amazing and dirty things he would like to do to Dean Winchester, his one and only friend who just so happens to be his boyfriend.  
Ahh, Dean Winchester... Where do I begin. Let me start from the top. Dean has beautiful honey blonde hair that is shorter at the sides than at the top. His face is covered in freckles, more than anyone could ever count. He has magnificent green eyes. His jawline is so sharp, just amazing. Deans shoulders are wide and muscular. He has back muscles are so defined and his chest and abdomen are muscled and toned. His hips are narrow but strong. And his bow-legs could make anyone melt.  
________________________________________________________________________  
Dean and Castiel had met in sophomore year, they didn't instantly become friends. Dean had his group of friends from Clearwater Middle School from the east side and Castiel had his friends from Hogwarts and Camp Half Blood. Castiel's loved to read. Castiel would always sit at the same lunch table all by himself every day. He would sit there and read, occasionally looking up to see what the hot boy from his English class was doing. Dean was often talking or laughing with his friends at his lunch table. But that day he wasn't. Castiel noticed, maybe a little too quickly. He started to breathe in shorter breaths and his heart was hammering against his ribcage. Castiel enjoyed watching Dean smile and laugh with his friends. But today was different because Castiel couldn't see Dean. 

"Hey there, you're Castiel right?" Castiel jumped and dropped his book on the floor. It landed with a thud and Dean said, "Oh man, I'm sorry." Dean was kneeling down to pick up the book at the same time Castiel was and they bonked heads. "Ow." Dean said rubbing his head in pain. Dean looked at Castiel and melted. The way that he tilted his head when he looked at him. Castiel was still in shock that Dean Winchester was talking to him. "May I sit?" Dean asked. Castiel nodded, still unable to speak. "I'm Dean Winchester, we have English together during 4th period. I noticed that you are reading before class starts and I was wondering what you are into?"  
Castiel looked at Dean from across the table and his first thought was 'Umm, you notice me every class??!'. But instead of saying that he said "Well it depends on how long you have been wondering because I read a lot. Like every day. So yeah." Castiel cleared his throat and looked down because he could feel Deans eyes on him. Castiel was very self-conscious about everything really. "I'm sorry, that sounded rude. I didn't mean it like that..." Castiel said quickly.  
"Cas, I'm gonna call you Cas, suits you a bit more than 'Castiel'." Dean put air quotes around Castiel. "I just want to know more about you. If you would like we could hangout. I am getting tired of secretly judging my old friends of Clearwater Middle School." Dean huffed out a laugh. Cas just looked at Dean, kind of puzzled. Cas didn't understand what was happening.  
"What? You want to be friends?" Cas said quietly while he looked at Dean. Dean couldn't help but chuckle a little bit.  
"Yeah, I mean if that's cool with you?" Dean said kind of faltering. Dean wasn't used to hearing no. He always got his way. "Yenno what, I'm taking you out for dinner tonight. We can grab some burgers and you can tell me all about your fandoms." Dean stated. He didn't ask, he told him. He was going to take him out and learn all about him.  
Castiel knew that he couldn't say no. Who could ever say no to Dean? With his big green eyes. "Umm okay, do you want to meet at the diner? My curfew is 9:45." Cas couldn't help but smile.  
"Okay, I'll pay, and I'll walk you home so you are for sure not late. You wanna meet after school or do you work or something?" Dean asked. He didn't know why, but he wanted to know every single thing about Castiel.  
"I usually work at the library but not tonight, we could meet at 4 so I can run home and drop off my stuff and change. Thank you for offering but I'll pay for myself because I eat a lot when burgers are on the menu." Cas nervously laughed at himself and looked up to see Dean smiling. Cas loved seeing Dean smile, it made the butterflies in his stomach flutter.  
"Please, I insist, if I'm going to pick your brain, you might as well get a free meal out of it. Look, I gotta go, I'll see you at 4 right? Don't be late!" Dean called as he strolled out of the cafeteria. Castiel had a very noticable blush on his cheeks. He did his best to hide his face behind Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief, a book that he has read at least 3 times.  
________________________________________________________________________

When Dean left the school he had a big grin on his face. He was so excited for 4 o'clock to come around. Just half an hour. Dean had to walk down to Clearwater Middle School to pick up Sam. Sam was Dean's younger brother who knew just about everything. Sam was in 5th grade, top of his class. That made his mom very proud, she would make him special salads with little cubes of marble cheese when he brought home an A+. When Dean got to Clearwater he couldn't see Sam. But he knew exactly where he was, and he was pissed. Sam had been in the middle of a nerd circle being pushed around and hit from everyone around. There was a group of people swarming them. When Dean got there nobody tried to get out of his way.  
Dean finally pushed his way through and started to break up the circle. The biggest kid, particularly around the middle was Zack, and he didn't back away from Sam. "If you hit him one more time it will be the end of you!" Dean yelled as he strode toward his brother and the bully. Zack had sweat falling from the sides of his face, you could see that he was tired but he didn't fall back at Dean's threat. Zack seemed to be a bit older than Sam, probably grade 8 but Dean didn't ask.  
"Who the hell are you? You really think a scrawny thing like you could take me?" Zack laughed and he held his fat belly. He taunted Dean with his words, and it just made him more pissed, if that was even possible. Sam was beaten up pretty bad, swollen eye, bloody nose and bloody teeth.  
"Dean..." Sam said slowly, but he was cut off by Zack shaking the collar of the shirt that Sam was wearing. Zack had been holding him by the collar since Dean got there.  
"It's okay Sammy, I'll make him sorry, you know I will. Just hold on." Dean tried to soothe Sam but it came out rough and sort of choked. Dean hated seeing Sam like this. Dean couldn't even imagine what his mother would say.  
"Awe, Sammy, how cute. You gonna come and get him from me, Dean?" Zack was still taunting Dean, he didn't know how strong Dean was, especially when it came to his baby brother Sammy.  
"I'm the only one who gets to call him that!" Dean screamed these words and this time they weren't choked out. He lunged forward and held Zack by his collar, the way he was to Sam. Zack let go of Sam so he could 'deal' with Dean. he punched Dean in the stomach, and Dean fell slightly forward. Once he stood back up, he had one hand on Zack's collar and the other hand was in the form of a fist and he was repeatedly punching him in the face. It took 4 jabs to the nose and one to the jaw before the bully fell. Dean turned around to crack his knuckles, he could see the blood and it made him sick. Zack came back to retaliate, but Dean was smaller than him and much faster. So he sidestepped and threw the large mass onto the ground. He tried to get up, but Dean knelt down to whisper in his ear. "If I were you, I wouldn't mess with us Winchesters. We will fuck you up." Dean pulled away with a little grin on his face. Zack wasn't quite done yet, though. He tripped Dean and he fell onto the grass. Dean quickly got up, "Really? You should stop." Dean was now the one who chirping. Zack's mouth was bleeding and he laughed. He came walking toward Dean. Dean kicked Zack as he came toward him, and he fell, Dean then got on top of Zack and started hitting him. Over and over. Until he realized that he couldn't stop. Thank god for Sammy, because he pulled Dean off of the bully, just before the principle walked onto the grass.  
That was Sam and Dean's cue to leave. Leave now. Dean grabbed Sam's backpack and Sam's hand and started running in the direction of their house. When they got a reasonable distance away from Clearwater Middle School Dean turned toward his baby brother. "What happened?!" Dean scolded as he checked Sam's wounds. "Mom is going to be pissed. Did you fight back or just take it?"  
Sam didn't answer right away. He just let Dean look at him. Then he started to cry. Dean held Sam's head in his hands and brushed away his brown mop of hair away from his eyes so he could see him. "I-- I don't-- I'm-- sorry. S--sorry dd--Dean. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Sammy wept as his older brother held him close to his chest.  
Dean held him close and pet Sam's hair. "It's okay Sammy, it's going to be alright." Dean cooed this over and over to his baby brother until his breathing was almost steady. "Let's go home and get you cleaned up. You gotta tell Mom about what happened, all of it okay?" Sam just nodded because he knew that he voice would break if he tried to speak. The brothers start walking home.  
________________________________________________________________________  
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY BABY!!!" Mary yelled as Sam and Dean walked in through the back door with their heads down. "Dean?" Mary wanted an explanation. And she wanted one now.  
"I-- umm. Sammy?" Dean stammered as he glanced a look at Sam.  
"If you don't tell me what happened I'm going to ground the both of you!" Mary yelled and pointed a finger at Dean while she did.  
"No, no, not tonight mom please, I have a thing tonight. Just please don't ground me, not tonight." Dean gave his mom the puppy dog eyes, and she smiled slightly, but then went back into her angry mom face. "Please, mom. Sammy will tell you everything. Won't you Sammy?" Dean looked down to Sam, and he just slightly nodded, letting his hair fall into his face.  
"Sam, sweetie, please go clean up while I talk to your brother." Mary smiled lovingly at Sam as he exited the room. Then she turned to Dean. Scolding face and all, "What happened. Short version. Go." Mary said waiting for an answer.  
Dean breathed out and took a long breath in before he said, "I was going to pick Sam up from Clearwater, when I got there he was in the nerd circle. I pushed my way through trying to find him and when I did he looked like that." Dean pointed to the door that Sam had walked out of earlier and then he continued. "I kinda-- umm-beat up the guy who beat up Sam." While he said this his head was down so he couldn't see his mother's face of disappointment. But when he slowly looked up his mother was smiling.  
"I would like details of this fight," Mary said calmly.  
"I mostly punched him, in the face. Kicked him once and threw him down to the ground once." Dean said this rather quickly. "His name was Zack, he wasn't a little kid like Sam, he must have been 2 years below me. Probably just moved here because I don't remember him from Clearwater. Like I said he was a big kid, umm, particularly in the middle. Yenno? Like fat. Pardon me." Dean always felt skittish when his mom was mad. He felt like a disappointment to her. Ever since his father left, Dean always had to be strong, mainly for his mom and Sammy, but for himself too.  
"Thank you. I'm proud of you." Mary could see that these words of kindness weren't sinking into Dean's head so she tilted up his head so she was looking into his eyes. "I mean it, Dean, okay?" she turns around to open the cookie jar and she fishes out 2 cookies. Breaks one in half and hands one of the sides to Dean. He takes it. Mary sits down and looks at her eldest son. "Tell me about this thing you have tonight while I wait for your brother."  
"Oh, it's nothing, just this guy in my English class. He is... interesting. I want to learn more about him and hangout and stuff. To be honest mom, I don't really like my old friends. Yenno? From Clearwater? They are awful human beings." Dean huffed.  
"Oh finally, those kids were awful Dean. Glad you're getting a fresh start." Mary said with a sigh of relief.  
"Wow mom, tell me how you really feel." Dean laughed and so did his mom. "So can I please go? I'll be home by 10?" Dean pleaded with his eyes. Mary could never say no to the deep emerald green eyes that her son had.  
"Yes, you can go, be home by 10 and take the trash out when you get home okay?" Mary called out to her son as he booked it up the stairs to his room.  
"Okay mom, thanks! Love you!" Dean yelled down the stairs as he ripped off his navy blue tee and he pulled on a red flannel and buttoned it up as was walking to his dresser to find his favorite black jeans. He knows his ass looks good in them and for some reason he wants Cas to notice. He shrugged that thought out of his mind as quickly as he put it there. Kicking off his blue jeans he was pulling his legs through the pant legs of the black jeans when he fell over. "I'm okay!" Dean calls out to his mom before she gets worried. He chuckles to himself as he gets up and hikes his pants to wear they sit so perfectly on his hips. Dean puts his boots back on and heads out of his bedroom door. When he reaches for the handle he can see Zacks blood on his knuckles. He pushes the bathroom door open and shoves his hands into the water. Once all the blood is gone Dean looks up into the mirror and checks his teeth. No cookie chunks in there. He bounds down the stairs and calls out to his mom and brother who are in the kitchen talking about what happened and eating cookies, "Bye, love you guys! See you at 10 mom!" and with that, he shuts the door and walks down the sidewalk. Dean momentarily looks at his watch seeing that it was 4:13, "Shit!", and then Dean starts to run to the diner.  
________________________________________________________________________  
Castiel has been sitting in the diner since 3:53, he had gotten there a little bit early so he could get the booth by the window that he liked. When the time on Cas' digital watch said 3:59 Cas couldn't focus on his book. He couldn't peel his eyes away from the door of the diner. When 4 o'clock struck Cas just shrugged to himself because there was no way that Dean would magically walk into the diner at 4. So he sat and waited. And eventually, his was back into his book that he brought "just in case".  
4:10: Castiel looked at his watch. He felt so stupid, just sitting there all by himself and only having a milkshake while he has his head stuffed into a book. Castiel was contemplating to go to the park to sit on the swing set.  
4:12: Castiel packed up his things and brought out his wallet so he could leave a tip for the waitress. He walked to the till and paid for his milkshake.  
4:13: Castiel had exited the diner and sat on the bench. He decided that he would wait 7 minutes before he would leave. Although 7 minutes doesn't seem very long Cas thought that these ones would drag on and last a lifetime.  
Castiel was very gay, 100% actually but nobody knows except for his family. He is much too afraid to tell people because he had never been close to a person for long enough. He thought that maybe Dean would have been the first person that he told. He thought about this for those long lasting minutes. Until his thoughts were interrupted by very loud footsteps. Cas looks up from the book that he was pretending to read and he saw an amazing ass in black jeans but no face. Although the ass was very nice and Cas would have liked to see who it belonged to, but it was 4:21, he was supposed to be walking home already. Castiel got up and started to walk. He thought about how stupid he had been for thinking that Dean Winchester was actually serious about them becoming friends. 'Dean is probably with his Clearwater friends right now' Cas thought, he can't help but thinking about the Clearwater kids planning on how to torture him with this tomorrow at school.  
________________________________________________________________________  
Dean finally reached the diner at 4:21, he had reefed open the door and looked around with his pleading green eyes. Nothing. Cas wasn't there. His heart falling, Dean walked over to the cashier and asked a simple question, "Hey, have you seen a tanned skin, black haired guy come in here? He has blue eyes and he's about 6 foot."  
The cashier looked at Dean and smiled, "Yeah, he left about 5 minutes ago. You want anything to drink?" She said winking and moving her blonde hair from her face. Obviously trying to flirt with Dean.  
"Oh, thanks, but I'm good. Goodnight." Dean said with a wave as he left the diner. He was looking every which way to see if he could maybe catch a glimpse of Cas. He felt like a complete asshole. Dean saw a flash of a dark hoodie and that was his best chance so he started running toward the figure. Foot after foot his feet raced. When he finally reached the hooded person he called out Cas' name, but the figure turned around.  
"Dude, I'm Steve, you got any weed?" Steve said. Dean could already tell that this guy was as high as a kite. So he just apologized and started walking down the street on the left.  
Dean had his head down low as he walked in no particular direction. "Dean?", Dean had lifted his head at this and seen that he was about 20 feet away from Castiel. The way the light had hit Castiel's tanned skin and black hair made Dean's knees wobble and Dean couldn't help but think that Cas looked like an angel.  
"Cas... I'm so sorry. I got into a fight while I was protecting my brother Sam. Nevermind, you probably don't care what I have to say. I'm sorry, I'll just go. See you at school." Dean turned and started to take his leave. Dean didn't expect what happened next.  
"Dean, wait. I would like to make a deal with you." Dean turned around as Cas said this. When Dean looked at Cas, Cas couldn't peel his eyes away. Dean's face was so captivating. When Castiel looked at Dean's lips he really hoped he didn't notice. Cas wondered what it would be like to kiss those plush full lips. He dismissed the thought so he could propose this 'deal' because Dean looked at him with questioning eyes. "Since you wasted my time, 21 minutes of it since I left the diner, I want 21 minutes of your time. Then I'll give you a second chance. Fair?"  
"Yes!" Dean replied a little too quickly. "I mean, umm, yeah. It's only fair." Dean took a step forward, smiling. Castiel turned to walk by Dean's side. "So when does this time start? Should we sit down somewhere?" Dean walked slightly in front of Cas to point to a picnic table where they could sit, and Castiel being himself looked down at Dean's ass and noticed that it was the one he saw at the diner. He smiled to himself and Dean noticed. "What?" Dean said with a smile on his face.  
"Can I be honest Dean?" Cas tilted his head as he said this and Dean just nodded. "I'm very surprised that someone like you, Dean Freaking Winchester is kinda desperate to get to know me or maybe even become my friend if you don't get bored of me." While Cas said this Dean stepped toward him and he smiled and looked into Castiel beautiful blue eyes.  
"Castiel Novak, I have had my eyes on you since school started, I needed to get to know you. I see you in English and I can tell that it's your favorite class even though I'm not in any of your other classes. The way you always have your head in a book smiling down onto the pages like you already know what's going to happen. Whenever Mrs. Gessler asks a question, you never raise your hand, but you scribble something into your notebook. Then Mrs. Gessler comes over and puts one finger on your desk if it's correct, two if it's wrong." Castiel never knew that Dean watched him the way he watched Dean. Carefully but never too much to get anyone to notice. "I have also noticed you at lunch, sitting at the same table every day having your eyes glued to the pages of a different book every day. Your black hair peeking over the top of the books." Dean was smiling while he tells Cas what he has noticed since September. If Cas' blush wasn't already burning his cheeks with delight he would've passed out from what came next, "And finally, I've noticed you..." Dean teased Cas because he could see that he was intrigued. "What?" Cas asked. Clearly impatient and waiting for an answer. "I've noticed you, noticing me." Dean finally said. Castiel stepped away from Dean.  
"Dean I'm so sorry." Cas said with his back turned away from Dean, with his head in his hands.  
"Wait, what? Why? Why would you ever be sorry?" Dean questioned Cas as he strode toward him, turned him around so Dean could talk to him face to face.  
Castiel could feel his eyes sting but he held back the tears. "I should have told you, I should have told you from the beginning, so you would run off and never talk to me again." Cas almost broke when he said this. It pained him but he knew that he should've said something to Dean.  
"Cas what are you talking about? Why would I ever...?" Dean said.  
But Castiel cut him off, "Because I'm gay Dean. I'm gay and I like you..." Castiel had never told anyone this before and he didn't want to see Dean's face with any look of disgust. But he just had to look at him because Dean had Cas' face in his hands and was staring into eyes. Green staring into a deep blue. Dean didn't look disgusted, he was actually kind of smirking. "What?!" Cas kind of squeaked.  
"Cas, you are a dumbass. You know that? I know that you are gay. I don't care. Seriously Cas, you should never be sorry for who you are. Okay?" Dean is trying to get through to his brain. "Want me to tell you something I never told anyone?" Dean let go of Cas' face and Cas nodded. "Okay, well about 2 years ago, my dad, he umm, well he kinda left us. All of us. Me, Sammy and Mom, and we all just about fell apart without him. We aren't all used to it yet, we all still miss him, but we also know that we are better without him." now Dean was the one holding back tears. Cas didn't know what to say but he felt like he didn't need to say anything. Cas pulled Dean into his arms and buried his head into his chest. Dean hugged him back and then cleared his throat, "No more chick-flick moments, okay?" They broke apart and sat at the picnic table that Dean chose so they could finally talk and get to know each other.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot shorter than the first. Please let me know what you think!! :) Thanks for reading.

"Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, and a new series that I recently got into was Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, but I haven't finished them yet. I also like all types of movies like Marvel, or The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, X-Men, yenno? Stuff like that." Cas said as his eyes wandered and looked around like he saw all the things he was saying.  
Dean couldn't help beaming at Cas, he liked all the same movies as him. He thought that maybe they could watch them together one time, "I've heard of Percy Jackson, what is it about again? Are there any movies to it? So I could watch them and have something to go off of?".  
Cas' face went pale, "Do NOT watch the Percy Jackson movies! They are awful! They are like the book in 1 way. They have the same characters. The movies don't even try to follow the story line." Cas was just going on and Dean couldn't help but chuckle, "Don't chuckle! The story line was so screwed up that they had stuff in the second movie that wasn't even happening until the LAST book. And they portrayed Kronos by the wrong person! Ugh, it just really sucked. Books were so much better, movies were a disgrace." Cas said obviously worked up.  
"Okay, okay, sorry." Dean laughed and put his hands up. "I won't watch the movies. So what are they about?" Dean asked, still interested.  
"They are about Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon and Sally Jackson. Percy learns that he is a demigod, which is offspring of gods and humans, and he goes on quests to save the worldwith his friends from Camp Half Blood. It is one of my favorite series." Cas says smiling.  
"So, if there are like gods and stuff, are there angels or the devil?" Dean asked.  
"No, not angels, or the devil, but there are a lot of monsters that they have to kill, and they have to defeat Kronos, which is a titan. The titan is the father of the gods." Cas said.  
"Oh, damn. If there were angels, you would fit perfectly." Dean says with a light blush going on.  
Cas looks down and he can feel all the blood in his cheeks, "What?" Cas looks so flushed. He loved how Dean just called him an angel, it made him feel special. He wanted to be Dean's angel.  
"Oh, sorry, didn't mean it like that." Dean blushed now because he knew that he was lying, Cas was really an angel, just perfect. "Cause, yenno? About your name?" Dean said, but Cas just looked confused. "You really never Googled your name before? Well okay, I did, and it says that you 'Castiel', are an angel of Thursday. Hey! That's tomorrow. I do think you are an angel because only an angel would give me a second chance." Dean was smiling and blushing slightly. So was Castiel the angel of Thursday.  
"Well, damn, I need a halo, maybe I could go as me for Halloween." Cas said awkwardly, "Sorry, crappy joke, haha." Cas nervously laughed.  
"No! That is perfect. If somebody gives you trouble for not wearing a costume you could say 'I'm the angel of Thursday.'" Dean mimicked Cas' voice and Castiel loved it, he would definitely remember that for when he got home. Cas briefly looked at his watch and it read 9:28.  
"Hmm? I guess it kind of is perfect. Umm Dean, we have been talking for like 5 hours, I have to go home soon." Cas said, even though he didn't want this to end.  
"Oh, yeah. 5 hours, I can't believe that I didn't get hungry haha. C'mon I'll walk you home." Dean got up and Cas looked at his ass in those black jeans, that is another thing he will remember when he gets home. Cas smiled and got up to walk with Dean to his home.  
______________________________________________________________________  
Dean walked Castiel all the way home. And they talked the whole way there. Dean learned that Cas had a younger brother, his name was Gabriel. He was a year above Sam at Clearwater. He had also learned that Cas had never told anyone outside of his family that he was gay. And with that Dean felt very special, even though he already kinda knew, he knows that it must have been very hard to come out to him like that.  
Dean and Cas finally reached Cas' house and they say their goodbyes, "I'm so glad you gave me a second chance to prove myself, thank you Cas." Dean had a huge smile on his face as he said this.  
Cas was smiling too, "Well who could ever say no to you, with your big green eyes?" Cas giggled. Dean blushed and hid his face in his hands. Cas laughed and tried to move his hands, but he couldn't, and Dean poked his eyes out from behind his fingers, and Cas smiled but he didn't stop trying to get his hands off his face. "Dean..." Cas was still struggling to pry Dean's hands away. "Let go of your face." Cas basically gave up at this point but didn't move his hands away. "Have your eyes never been complimented before or are you just self-conscious? Like me..." Cas' hands fell down with that.  
Dean looked up with his hands now off of his face and on Castiel's. "You shouldn't be self-conscious Cas." Dean was staring into Castiel's eyes and then he did something that he was not expecting himself to do. He leaned in and gently kissed Cas. When Dean pressed his lips onto Castiel's he thought that he would pull away, but Cas pushed in. Cas slightly opened his mouth, and Dean pushed his tongue inside. Cas' tongue met Dean's and they danced. Cas gently tugged on Dean' lower lip with his teeth. Then quite to soon Dean pulled away. Cas stood there in awe.  
"Dean, oh my." Cas gasped. He was very happy, and Dean saw that and it scared him.  
"Cas, I'm so sorry. I didn't m--" Dean began, but he didn't finish because Cas took a step closer to Dean. And he abruptly stopped speaking. Cas just hugged Dean.  
"Dean, it's okay." Cas cooed this and Dean felt a little uneasy. So he ended the hug and backed away from Cas. "Where are you going?" Cas asked as he watched Dean step down his front porch.  
"I gotta go Cas, I'll see you at school tomorrow? Okay, bye." Dean rushed his words. He had to get out of there.  
"Bye..." Cas said quietly. But Dean was already gone.  
______________________________________________________________________


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the kiss, a little sexy shower scene.

Dean had no idea, why that just happened. He wasn't expecting himself to do that, he liked girls anyway, not boys, or so he thought. Since he started having an interest in Castiel in September, Dean has felt something. He has always just pushed it down, but it didn't end his curiosity of Cas.  
Earlier in the night, around 5, Dean and Cas had exchanged phone numbers. Dean got a text from Cas while he was walking home from dropping him off and kissing him.  
"Dean? Can you text me when you get home, please?"  
"Yeah, but I have to do some stuff before I can actually talk." Dean was trying to play everything off like it was all good, but he was freaking out. He was just glad that Cas couldn't see him right now.  
"Thank you," Cas replied, and Dean just kept walking.  
When Dean got home, he walked into the backyard because he knew that the garbage bags would be there. He opened the gate, grabbed the two bags and put the garbage into the bins. As he walked back into his house, all he could think about was Cas. How they kissed and how their tongues danced together so perfectly. He remembered how Cas bit his bottom lip and with that, he noticed that his pants were becoming tighter. He repositioned himself so when he got in his house his mom wouldn't notice.  
Dean walked in the back door at 9:54, "Hey hon, how was your night? Probably more eventful than mine, thanks for taking out the trash." Mary said as Dean walked into the living room where she was watching TV.  
"It was good, I learned a lot about Cas, he's a really cool guy. But I'm super tired mom, can I tell you about it tomorrow at breakfast?" Dean asked, pretending to yawn.  
"Yeah, yeah, I love you Dean, I'm going to bed, I want details tomorrow," Mary said as she strode down the hall.  
"You make it sound like a date," Dean said, turning around to see his mom.  
"Wasn't it?" Mary said poking her head out of her room, "I thought it was by the way you talked about him before you even got to know him." Mary was now out of her room smiling at Dean.  
"No Mom! I'm not into him like that." Dean avoided saying anything about his sexuality because he honestly wasn't sure. "He's just a friend," Dean said, obviously upset at what his mom was implying.  
"He's just a friend?" Mary asked, and Dean nodded. "Okay then. Well go take care of yourself and then come talk to me." Mary said as she quickly glanced down at Dean's pelvis, winking and walking into her room and not coming back out this time.  
"Oh, c'mon mom! Seriously! Ugh, gross! Why'd you have to say that!?" Dean cried out to his mom. But then his hand found his uncomfortable erection in his jeans and he pinched it gently. He peered around the corner to his mom and brother's room.  
Sam came out of his room, "Will you shut up I'm trying to sleep!" Sam was obviously asleep before he came out of his room.  
"Bitch," Dean said smiling.  
"Jerk." Sam said turning around and going back to bed.  
______________________________________________________________________  
"Hey. I'm home." Dean texted Cas then threw his phone on his bed and got undressed. His cock bouncing as he took off his underwear and wrapped a towel around his waist. Dean was just trying to ignore his aching cock so he wouldn't have to 'deal' with himself like his mother told him to do.  
*Ding*, Dean's phone rang and he knew that it would be Cas. So he took off his shirt and walked over to his bed. "Thank you for telling me, Dean. Do you have time to talk?"  
"No, not yet, I have to shower because I'm all gross and stuff. So I'll shower and then I'll text you." Dean said, sort of hoping that his shower will be long enough so Cas will fall asleep and they won't have to talk. But he knows that won't happen.  
*Ding*, "Okay.", and with that Dean headed to the bathroom.  
He dropped his towel and his erection from earlier was going down. He willed himself not to think about what happened earlier in the night, but of course, he thought about it more. He was completely hard again and he cursed himself. He stepped into the shower and let the cold water pierce his skin, and then the cold melted away and warm water slid down over his body. He started to wash his hair, the bubbles slowly falling down his body. He thought about Cas. He didn't know what he was going to say, but he knows that Cas ask him what happened tonight.  
Dean didn't want to think anymore, he just wanted the sweet release that his cock was begging for. "No more thinking about tonight.", Dean thought this in his head as he looked down his body to his cock. He took it into his right hand and slowly began to pump his hand up and down the shaft while running his thumb over his slit every time he went up. He let his head fall back in pleasure and he let a small moan slip out of his teeth.  
As he bit at his lips trying not make noise, Dean stopped, he was scared of what Cas was doing to him. He didn't want to stop jacking himself off, though. So Dean tried something new, something that he never thought that he would do. He let Cas fill his mind. Dean pictured Cas the way he was when they were sitting at the picnic table and how passionate he was talking about everything that he was into. Dean was stroking himself slowly. Dean increased his speed a little and thought about the walk to Castiel's house and how Cas was so open towards him. Dean was close now, he could feel it. So increased his speed even more and thought about the kiss that he and Castiel shared. Dean thought about the way their lips touched so softly, he remembered the soft but chapped lips that Castiel had. He thought about the way Cas invited him into his mouth, the way that their tounges twirled together. Dean was so close, all he had to do was let go. So he thought of the thing that would definitely push him over the edge; he remembered the way Cas had bit his lower lip and gasped when they broke apart. Dean absolutely lost it, he came very hard and sprayed his seed all over the shower walls while he moaned, "Caaass." a little louder than he intended.  
Dean came out of his aroused high and saw the huge mess that he made. He quickly cleaned up all of his cum and then washed his body, but he avoided his over sensitive softening cock.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking about feelings.

Dean got out of the shower and texted Cas, "Hey, I can talk now." Dean then set his phone on the bed and started to put on his pajamas for the night.  
*Ding* "Hello, I'm really glad we got to hang out today, I had a really good time. Thank you for walking me home too... I loved it, do you want to talk about it?" As soon as Dean read this he felt the guilt bubbling in his stomach. "I don't really know what to say, I was in the wrong, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that... I don't event know if I'm into guys like that. I have never done that before, I scared myself and I'm sorry if I scared you. I don't even know what I was thinking, I just... Dammit." Dean typed all of this out on his phone and backspaces all of it and rewrites "If you want to." Send. Dean then went to the bathroom to brush his teeth before he goes to bed, he takes his time because he knows Cas is going to say something crazy, or something that he won't have the answers to. He just stares at himself in the mirror for minute as he brushes his teeth. He doesn't like what he sees, he is ashamed of what he has done tonight. Dean decides to turn around because he can't look at himself right now. Dean hears a faint ding in his room, he doesn't rush in, he just continues to brush his teeth.  
Dean walks back into his room and turns on his lamp then turns off his main light and lays in his bed. He picks up his phone and turns in on vibrate before he reads Cas's text message. He really wasn't expecting to see what he read. "Well, you seemed really uncomfortable, so I want to know if you are okay. And I hope that you aren't scared to be seen with me, but if you are I completely understand and I will stay away from you."  
Dean was a little shaken up, "I'm okay, just never did that before, I didn't know how to act and I'm sorry. I don't care if I'm seen with you Cas, I like hanging out with you." Dean read his message over before hitting send. He deemed it good enough and pressed send. Dean got comfortable under his blankets and turned off his lamp light. He sat and he waited. And waited... He glanced at the time it was 10:37.  
Cas texted him back 2 minutes later, *Buzz* "You never kissed anyone before? I seriously doubt that, like do you own a mirror? Sorry. I'm guessing you meant you have never kissed a guy before, and that's okay, tbh you were my first kiss as well. I guess we never really talked about that tonight. I didn't know how to act either, I'm sorry, I suck at this. I liked it though, it made me happy, and I know that you probably don't know how to feel. Honestly, I feel exactly the same way because I never really had any friends growing up, that's why I read so much. I enjoy hanging out with you, but I don't want to lose you." Dean read this over twice. While Dean was reading through it the second time Cas texted him again "Oh dear god, please say something. I am never this open, I feel like I can be throughout texting though, I would never be able to say this to your face, omg I would die." Dean chuckled as he began to type Cas sent him another message, "Dean..." Dean typed "I'm here Cas, just give me a minute to respond lol."  
"I have only kissed a couple of people, never a guy, you were my first. There is no way that I was your first kiss. I want to still spend time with you, I enjoy hanging out with you, besides, I still owe you a dinner at the diner. You won't lose me as a friend Cas, but I don't know about, well yenno. What do you want to do tomorrow? I could buy you lunch."  
*Buzz* "Lunch sounds good, if it's nice out do you want to eat outside? But I will pay for myself thanks though."  
"Okay whatever haha, I will see you tomorrow Cas, goodnight."  
*Buzz* "Goodnight Dean, sweet dreams :) " And with that Dean plugged in his phone and went to sleep.  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
"Good morning sweetie, how'd you sleep?" Mary asked as Dean sat down at the table in the kitchen.  
"I'm not talking to you." Dean stated, "How is your eye Sammy?" Dean looked at his little brother and shook his head. "Doesn't look very fun, text me at lunch if any of Zack's friends try to mess with you. Okay?" Dean said smiling at Sam.  
"Sam will be fine Dean, are you not talking to me because of what happened between us last night?" Mary asked with a little smirk. Dean said nothing he just raised his eyebrows at his mother. "Sam, please go wash up for school, I need to talk to your brother." Sam didn't say anything, he just did as he was told. "So, you said last night that you would tell me about your day at breakfast. Well it's breakfast." Mary said placing a plate of bacon and eggs in front of Dean. Dean picked up his fork feverishly and started to get some on is fork when Mary pulled his plate away. "Tell me, then you can eat."  
Dean glared at his mother and gave in, "What do you want me to say?"  
"Tell me everything, what happened. Do you like him?" Dean started to interrupt but Mary continued, "Oh my goodness did you walk him home, awe goodnight kisses!!" Mary knew she was right by the shade of red that was plastered all over Dean's face. Dean scoffed but he could feel the blush on his face. "I knew it... So, is there anything you want to tell me sweetheart?"  
Dean took in a long breath and slowly breathed out, "I don't know how I feel mom, I never felt this way towards a guy before. I'm not sure what I should be doing, I do like him, but I don't know if I like him that way. But we did kiss. What am I supposed to do? Could you please help me?" Dean was choking on the air that was trapped inside of his lungs, he was holding back tears but not to much avail as they were streaming down his face.  
Mary got up and got a box of tissues and hugged her eldest son, "Dean there is nothing wrong with what you are feeling, I'm really glad you are wanting to talk to me about it even if I am holding your breakfast hostage. Anyway, if you have any attraction to this Cas boy, you should tell him. When you guys kissed, what did you feel?"  
"Mom, you know I'm not good with feelings. Exhibit A)." Dean said holding up the tissue that he just used to blow his nose. Mary smiled at him slightly and he knew that he wouldn't be able to do anything unless he talked to his mother and answered all of her questions. He sighed and said "When we kissed, I dunno… it felt… good. It felt right, but wrong at the same time. It was the first time either of us kissed a guy. I felt confused with myself, and with my sexuality. I ran away after it happened, I didn't know what else to do. Fight or flight I guess,I am usually a fighter but I didn't know how to fight that."  
"I see, can I tell you a little something Dean?" Dean nodded and Mary continued, "I'm bisexual." Mary smiled as Dean just stared at her in disbelief. "BUT, I never acted on my feelings unless I was drunk. And that was not a good way to deal with it, especially when I was in college and basically drunk 100% of the time." Mary pushed Dean's plate in front of him so he could eat, but Dean wasn't feeling very hungry at the moment. "Before you ask, your father never knew, you are the only person I have ever told, but I never hid it." Dean nodded. "So what about Cas? Do you know how he feels? Did you guys talk about past relationships either of you have had?"  
"No, we didn't talk about that kind of stuff, but at one point Cas got flustered and blurted out that he was gay and that he liked me, I already knew though because he always looks at me during lunch and 4th period. He also told me that nobody else knows that except for his family. We were also texting last night and he told me that he really liked the kiss and that he understands that I don't know what the hell I'm doing. He also said that he doesn't care if I like him the way he likes me, he just doesn't want to lose me as a friend. I really appreciate that because I'm not too sure of myself, yenno? I do like him mom, I'm just not sure if it's the way he wants me too."  
"It's okay Dean, just talk to him a bit more, friend him at first and then see if your feelings progress. Okay?" Mary said.  
"Okay." Dean said as Sam walks out of his room backpack and all. He was ready to go and Dean was still in his pyjamas. "I should probably go get ready for school, I'll be back down in a few minutes Sammy, be ready at the door." Dean shoved the eggs and bacon in his mouth and ran upstairs, sheilding his tear stained face, and then he got dressed for school, he through on some blue jeans with a subtle holes in the knees. He went to his closet and picked the first shirt he saw which just so happened to be a Led Zeppelin band tee. He quickly brushed his teeth and fixed his hair and started barreling down the stairs to meet Sam at the door. "Bye Mom!! See you after school!" Dean yelled into the general I reaction of the kitchen, where his mom was cleaning up the breakfast mess.  
"Love you boys, Dean you gotta tell me how it goes. Good luck on your history test today Sam, love you guys, now get the hell outta here." Mary shouted from the kitchen, rounding the corner to see them off.  
"Love you!!" Sam and Dean shouted before heading off to school.  
__________________________________________________________________________________________


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas talk about stuff.  
> I'm so sorry that I haven't posted in forever, so sorry, enjoy!

"Hey Cas." Dean said to Castiel as he was at his locker after first period.  
Castiel slowly looked up and locked eyes with Dean, blue and green in an intense stare. Cas had slowly moved his eyes down Dean's body, his eyes lingered on Dean's crotch. He quickly shot his eyes up to Dean's once more, "Hello Dean, how are you?"  
Dean noticed Cas staring down his body and lingering on his cock, as soon as Cas' eyes shot back up to Dean's, his cock twitched.  
"I'm good, how are you? How was your sleep? I got a little more than my 4 hours so I should be good."  
"4 hours isn't enough time to let your body relax. Although I only got 7, which still isn't enough, but it will have to do." Dean looked at Cas with a small smirk across his lips, 'I know I wouldn't sleep at all if you were there though' Dean thought to himself. "What are you smirking at?" Cas snapped slightly at Dean.  
Dean just chuckled and said, "You're just so geeky. It's funny." Dean looked at Cas as they started walking down the hallway, he chuckled to himself again when Cas scrunched up his eyebrows at Dean.  
"Whatever." Cas smiled, "What class do you are right now? I have calculus."  
"I have shop," Dean smiled, "it's with Mr. Singer, he is one of my favourite teachers at this school. Who is your favourite teacher here?"  
"Umm," Cas thought, he had a lot of favourite teachers because he does so well in school. "Well, I don't know my top number 1 but I really like Mr. Tran for calculus, or Mrs. Harvelle for P.E. But I don't really like P.E. because I'm not physically active, obviously." Castiel motions down his body. Dean can't help but follow down Cas' body with his eyes when his mentions his physique.  
"Oh my, shut up Cas, you're fit. I mean look at you," Dean motions down Cas' body like Cas did a minute ago. Cas couldn't even look at Dean because he thought at he was spontaneously combust from embarrassment. Cas could feel the blush in his cheeks and down his neck settling on his chest.  
"Dean, oh my god, stop!" Cas said pushing Dean slightly to the other side of the hallway.  
Dean couldn't help but chuckle. "See! Look at how strong you are!" Dean exclaimed. "Anyway, Cas I gotta get to class, do you still want to have lunch together?"  
"Sure Dean, that sounds great." Cas blushed before catching a glimpse of Dean ass as he ran down the hallway.  
_________________________________________________________________________  
Cas could barely pay attention in calculus because he was so excited for lunch to roll around. Mr. Tran told Castiel to pay attention at least 3 times. Castiel just couldn't help it. He was buzzing, he had liked Dean, and Dean didn't hate him. So that was a bonus. When Mr. Tran finally assigned homework meant that there was only a couple minutes of class left, which also meant that lunch was also in a few minutes. Cas was basically bouncing up and down in his seat. *Ring Ring Ring*  
The bell went and Castiel basically ran out of the room since he packed his backpack and wrote down the homework on his arm. He went to his locker where Dean was leaning on it. "Hello Dean, are you ready for lunch?" Castiel asked with a smile on his face.  
"Of course, where do you wanna go? Wanna eat in the cafeteria, or go get some real food?" Dean asked getting off Cas' locker so he could put his things in it.  
"It doesn't matter to me." Cas said looking up slightly into Dean's eyes. 'As long as I'm with you.' Cas thought.  
"Okay, let's go get some burgers at the Roadhouse then." Dean smiled as Cas filed in beside him as they left the school doors.  
________________________________________________________________________  
"This is my baby," Dean said pointing to his 1967 Chevrolet Impala. "She's my dads old car. But she's perfect, isn't she?"  
Cas just beams at Dean and then scrunches up his eyebrows and asks, "How do you drive this? You don't even have your license yet?"  
"How do you know?" Dean pulls out his wallet and shows Cas his license, "looks real doesn't it, I have never had to use it buts it's just in case." Dean says, winking at Cas. They got into Dean's car. Dean started it and Cas felt the vibrations of the motor on his legs and his ass on the seat, it made him jump slightly. Just enough for Dean to notice. "She's loud I know." Dean said as he pulled out of the parking lot onto the street. "Hey Cas, I'm... Uh... I'm really sorry about yesterday."  
"Dean, you don't have too-" Cas started.  
"Yeah, Cas, I do. It was pathetic and you didn't deserve that. I should have showed up on time, been a gentleman by listening and paying for dinner. I have no excuse. So, I'm sorry."  
Cas didn't really know what to say. "Dean, it's okay that you were a lil late. Your brother needed you. I understand. And hey, I thought you were paying for lunch." Cas looked at his hands in his lap. "But you don't have too, just a joke."  
"I did say I would pay, didn't I? Then I will." Dean chuckled, "but we are splitting the next one."  
Cas' head shot up, "There is going to be a next one?" Cas was very red, "I would really like that." Cas said so quiet he barely heard it himself.  
"Well, I would like if there would be another one." Dean said looking at Cas before he put his eyes back on the road.  
_________________________________________________________________________  
"Oh my god, this burger is heavenly." Cas said swallowing it down.  
Dean smiled and his eyes shined at Cas. "I know right! Best burgers in town." Cas glanced at Dean like "duh".  
Dean took a sip of his drink as Cas started talking, "Umm, Dean, I know that you might not want to, but can we talk about last night?" Dean's drink almost shot out of his nose. He had a slight coughing fit.  
"What?" Dean choked out. "Like, last night, last night? You wanna talk about it? Here? Now? Why?" Dean couldn't stop talking. Thankfully Cas cut him off.  
"Yenno what, nevermind, I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm sorry." Cas put down his burger, I don't looked at his lap with shame. "I'm sorry I should go." Cas got up so fast, and ran out of the Roadhouse.  
Dean got up too and ran out saying, "I'll pay later Ash! Cas wait!" Dean caught up to Cas since he's a bit faster than him. "Cas, why did you run out like that?"  
"I could see that I made you uncomfortable. I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone." Cas said turning away.  
"Cas don't you get it? I don't care if you think that you make me uncomfortable. Because you don't. I was just a little caught off guard. That's all. We can talk about it, sure. I'm just not very good at talking about this kind of stuff." Dean said.  
Cas was crying now, soft tears falling slowly. "Really?"  
"Yes you dumbass. I'm gonna go pay for the food, do you want me to bring you out a box? Here," Dean said to Cas as he handed him his car keys. "Go sit in the car, I'll get your food. I'll be right there okay?" Dean said wiping Cas' tears and heading back inside. Cas thought about going and putting Dean's keys by the car and running. He thought that he messed up so much already, he thought that Dean would never be okay with him. He was scared. He didn't know what to do. So he stood there. Not really sure of anything to do. A few minutes later Dean walked outside and saw Cas just standing there. "C'mon Cas. Let's go," Dean soothed Cas as he slid him into the car. Dean ran to his side of the car and sat facing Cas. "I think we should actually talk about this because I think it will help me. When did you know you were gay?" Dean asked.  
"I..." Cas croaked out, he cleared his throat, "I knew since last year. That's when I came out to my family. Why?"  
"I just have a few more questions to ask before you can go. Okay?" Dean asked. Cas nodded. "How did you know that you were gay? Do you still look at girls? Do you find them attractive?"  
Cas was facing Dean now, tears drying to his cheeks, "I knew I was gay because I never really saw myself ever being with a woman. I have always noticed a man's body more than a woman's, they just seem sit with me better. I do think that women are very beautiful in their own way. But I do not picture myself with one." Cas said looking shyly at Dean. Dean nodded. He looked at Cas and he broke down and cried with his head in his hands. Cas held him as close to his chest as he could it he car. "It's okay. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Cas said rubbing Dean's shoulders.  
"See Cas, that's the thing, I want to talk about it, because I don't know what I feel. I really like you, and that scares me because I don't know what kind of 'like' it is. Last night when I dropped you off and we kissed, I don't know. It felt good. And it scared me because I don't know what to do. I don't know whether to stay beside you and be with you, or pretend it never happened and never talk to you again. But I can't do that, I feel like if I never talked to you again... I don't even want to think about it because it hurts too much."  
"Dean before I completely back out. I'm gonna do something. Just don't get mad. Okay?" Cas said and Dean nodded as Cas pushed his face really close to Dean's and gently pushed his lips onto to Dean's. Dean didn't move the way he did the night before until Cas began to pull away. Then Dean crashes his lips onto Cas'. Cas leaned back against the passenger door and enjoyed himself. He brought his hands up to Dean's face. He gripped at the hairs on the back of his neck and Dean moaned into his mouth. Dean quickly pulled away and began to panic. "Well..?" Cas asked expectantly.  
"I just moaned into your mouth. I never in my life that I would do anything like that." Dean said looking at Cas.  
"But how did it feel?" Cas asked curiosity spiked.  
"Ugh, it was so hot. And I loved it. I think I'm scared about being in public. And about the sexual aspects of it all. But right at this moment I don't care about, all that I care about are your lips. And how they should be on mine." Dean leaned in again and took Cas' lips with his own.


	6. Sexy Late Night Conversatioins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas talk after making out in the Impala.  
> WARNING: SMUT. 
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Cas was sitting in his room laying on his bed staring at his ceiling. There was a smile that was plastered on his face because of the events that happened tonight. He kept thinking about Dean staring at him like he had been blind and when he had looked at Cas he could finally see. Cas was blushing like an idiot, and he knew it. He held his face with the movie of tonight on repeat in his head.  
Cas' phone rang *Ding* "Hey Cas", it was from Dean. When Cas read this he blushed.  
"Hello Dean, how are you?" Cas typed. Cas watched his phone screen for an answer. 1 minute... 2 minutes. "Wow, I'm really hung up on this guy." Cas said out loud. He got out of bed and got ready to go to sleep. He looked in his bathroom mirror and smiled, "When Dean replies, slowly answer, just take your time, don't rush to answer.", Cas brushed his teeth. *Ding*, Cas turned around to start to walk into his room to get his phone but he stopped himself. When Cas was finished brushing his teeth he washed his face and walked into his room.  
He had three messages from Dean, "I am pretty good considering I had an identity crisis a few hours ago haha.", "How are you Cas?", and "I want to ask you something but you don't have to agree to it okay?".  
Cas bit at his lip trying to figure out what Dean was going to ask, "I'm pretty good, but now I am nervous haha. What did you want to ask me? Is it like a request, or an invitation?" Cas sent his message.  
*Ding* "Like I want to do something with you, but you don't have too. So I guess an invitation." Dean sent. Cas turned his phone on vibrate and began to write.  
"Okay, ask away then." Cas sent, as he waited for a response his stomach felt like a cage full of butterflies.  
*Buzz*, 'Finally' Cas thought to himself. "Will you talk dirty to me? Like right now?" Dean even added a begging emoji.  
"What?" Cas said out loud, he began to type, but he didn't know what to say or do, "Dean? Idk how to do that, I haven't done it before, and I think it depends on who is a bottom or the top?" Cas sent that and then read it, he typed quickly, "OMG, I'm an idiot, I'm so sorry, how would you even know that? I'm sorry." Cas waited for a response.  
*Buzz* "I guess, but I would really appreciate you saying something dirty right now, to get me going, because I'm already hard thinking about what we did tonight." Cas' face was so full of colour now. He noticed his pants becoming tighter as the blood flooded to his cock.  
"Dean, I want you so bad, I want to kiss every inch of your perfect body. I want to tongue you down until you are shaking with want and need. I want you as a writhing mess below me as I devour your body with my lips. I would start at your lips, trail down to your neck, your chest, licking and nipping each nipple as I pass by. Get down to your treasure trail and lick my way down... Until I stop, right before I take your leaking cock into my mouth. I kiss and suck at your hip bones. When I move my lips, I'll replace them with my hands because you are so full of need that you begin to thrust up looking for friction to subdue you. Then finally I take your cock in my mouth and begin to suck at the tip, tasting your precum. I quickly take your whole length until it hits the back of my throat. I twist my fist as I suck down hard. Faster and faster until you cum with a shout and I swallow your seed willingly." Cas sent this message and thinks to himself what Dean is doing while reading this text. 'Dean has to be jerking off right now. Oh, that's hot.' Cas decided to free his cock and think of Dean doing the same. 

Cas could picture Dean right now, sprawled out on a comforter cock in hand pumping himself slowly at first then quickening when he gets the message. Cas imagines himself over Dean doing everything he had said. He saw Dean coming apart at his touch, whimpering for more. Cas came hard without warning, he caught most of the cum, some ran down his cock and down his perineum and onto his entrance. Cas didn't want to be done. Then he got a text *Buzz* "Omg Cas, that was amazing thank you. Do you need any help with yours?"  
Cas blushed considering he had already come. But he wanted another one, no better way to get what he wants then asking, "Tbh Dean, I already did, but I would love to come to your words with my fingers deep inside me." Cas sent and he even added a little blushing emoji. He was whimpering now teasing his fingers in and out of his tight ring of muscle waiting for Dean's text.  
*Buzz* "Cas baby, your gonna get me going again. Ugh I can picture you. Mmmh, I'm getting hard just thinking about it. Imagine me kissing you until you have no air left in your lungs." Cas threw his head back because he's up to 2 fingers now. Suddenly he got another message, *Buzz* "Kissing down your beautiful chest."  
*Buzz* " Sucking bruises into your hips." Cas was falling apart at his words. Waiting very impatiently for more he put a 3rd finger in beside his other 2, he was whimpering as he stretched himself. His fingers passed by his prostate and he jumped letting out a not so quiet moan. But he quickly bit at his lips trying to quiet himself so he wouldn't get caught.  
*Buzz* "Wiping your precum on my fingers, then taking you into my mouth. Sucking hard on your perfect cock, I gently slide your legs apart and spread your precum on your waiting hole." Cas was nailing his fingers to his prostate and he moaned. Again not being so quiet.  
*Buzz* "I push one finger in while I'm swallowing down on your cock, after you relax and get used to the feeling I add spit to my fingers and slide 2 more inside you. You're so tight, mmh Cas, God you're so tight. I hammer my fingers against your sweet spot brutally. Over and over. And you beg for it harder so I give it to you harder." Cas was so close, but he was waiting for some type of permission to come.  
*Buzz* "I am so close... Are you close?" Dean asked.  
Cas typed out a quick response "Yes, yes, keep going.", send. Cas threw his head back to stifle another moan. *Buzz Buzz Buzz* Cas picked up is phone and saw that Dean was calling him, he was so close, he wasn't self conscious in that moment so he answered, panting he said, "Hello," He was whimpering.  
Dean could tell he was close. "Hey baby. How are you doing?"  
"Dean, you sound too normal to be so close to, ahh, coming again, although you sound a little wrecked. Did I wreck you?" Cas slammed against his prostate. "Ahh! Can you wreck me Dean? Please? I need it so bad."  
"My, my baby, your so polite, should I let you come? With just my words and your fingers deep inside yourself? Ask me again baby." Dean hummed clearly in control of the situation.  
"Mmh, Deaaaann, please, please wreck me. Please let me come? Please..." Cas was so close, he just needed the go ahead.  
"Okay princess, you can come. Come now, Cas, I want to hear you, I want to hear you cry out my name as you come. Like you can't remember anything either than my name. Mmh," Cas could hear the amount of lube on Dean's cock slurping as he jacked off quickly. Dean moaned, "Cas I'm gonna cum, are you close?" Cas came with a shout. He almost screamed Dean's name out, but he bit his lip just in time.  
"Oh god, yes Dean. Fuck me, yes, oh my god. So fucking good." Cas continued to moan sweet remarks to Dean. Dean just listened slowly pumping himself through his orgasm.  
"Oh my god Cas. Why didn't I call you from the beginning of all of this? Fuck you sound so good when you have your fingers up your ass, and when you have my name on your lips when you come." Dean said and Cas could hear the smirk on his face. "I wish I could have seen it."  
Cas flushed, "Oh you will Dean, but I want to go slow with everything but I promise you, one day you will, and that day will be unforgetable."  
_________________________________________________________________________________  
Dean and Cas slept really good that night. They were so blissed out and Dean dreamt of the day when he could see Cas come apart from his touch and his tongue. And he woke up stress free and a little sticky. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings

Dean went downstairs to greet his mother and kid brother. "Good morning, how'd you guys sleep?" Dean asked grabbing a coffee cup from the cabinet.  
"Good how did you sleep?" Mary asked, "Were you on the phone last night? I swear I could here something coming from upstairs." Mary asked.  
"Oh, yeah, it was just Cas." Dean said blushing slightly as he poured a cup of coffee.  
"Didn't you hangout with Cas like all day yesterday?" asked Sam with a little smirk on his face. "Dude, what the heck."  
"Sam, leave your brother alone. He can talk to whoever he wants. What did you guys talk about?" Mary asked.  
"Just a project that we are doing in English." Dean said quickly. He didn't often lie to his mom so he felt a little bit weird about it. Dean sat down at the table and enjoyed his family's company.  
__________________________________________________________________________  
Dean was walking down the hallway. Smiling at people who said hello. Cas couldn't help but smile, Dean, his bestfriend was a very beautiful specimen. Cas turned back to his locker and blushed because he knew that Dean saw him staring at him as he walked down the hallway. "Hey Cas." Dean winked. "How are you feeling this morning?" Dean leaned close into Cas' ear, "Is my baby sore? Hmm? Are you sore from last night?" Dean smirked as he pulled his face away from Cas' ear.  
"Dean, you can't say stuff like that to me in public." Cas said quietly as he was trying not to face Dean. Cas didn't want Dean to see the redness of his blush on his face.  
"But why not?" Dean teased, "I love seeing you blush. Usually the innocent blush Cas. I don't think you are very innocent, specially from the way you were moaning my name last night. You sounded amazing being filled up Cas, I can't wait until I get to hear it for real." Dean drawled.  
Cas mewled. "Deeeann. Stop. Please." Cas was really trying not to let his blood flow downward. "I really don't want to have a boner in school. That would just be embarrassing." Cas finally looked up at Dean with pleading eyes.  
"Oh we wouldn't want that now we would we?" Dean chuckled. "I'm sorry Cas. Won't happen again. So what are you doing for lunch today? You wanna go out for lunch again? I had a lot of fun last time, so I was wondering if you wanted to do it again."  
"Yes, I would love that. Cas said with a smile.  
*Ding Ding Ding* "Okay, meet me outside by my car?" Dean asked, "I gotta get to first period. See you for lunch," Dean leaned into Cas ear once more, "Don't stare at me for too long as I walk away." With that Dean turned around and started to strut down the hall. "Cocky lil shit." Cas said out loud. Cas took a little peak at Dean's ass before he turned around and went to his own class.  
__________________________________________________________________________  
"You're a cocky bugger aren't you?" Cas said to Dean, not phrasing it as a question at all. Dean just smirked and turned on Baby. Dean drove a while, and then Cas started not to recognize where he was. "Umm, Dean, where are we going?" Cas said, a sliver of worry in his voice.  
"It's okay Cas, you'll see. I wanna show you something awesome, are you super hungry? Because it's another 10 min drive." Dean said.   
"Good thing lunch is an hour then." Cas said. "But I'm kinda nervous, so could you please tell me where we are going?"  
Dean tutted, "It won't be a surprise then." Dean glanced over to Cas, who was looking really nervous. "Cas, don't be worried, I would never hurt you, ever. We are going to where I used to go play when I was much younger. It's like this huge field."  
"Oh, okay. Thanks for telling me." Cas said looking out the window. Dean was looking at Cas, he couldn't believe how pretty a boy could be. He started to swerve into the other lane. Cas looked up and yelled at Dean to get back in his own lane.  
Dean pulled over to the shoulder of the road, "Cas I am so sorry I couldn't focus. Something else had my attention. I know that is a poor excuse. I'm so sorry. I'll focus. I swear." Dean started to pull back onto the road.  
Dean was driving for a while and then he told Cas that they were there. Dean had pulled out onto the field, car and all. "Dean it is beautiful, but why did you bring me here?" Cas asked.  
Dean was looking out into the clearing and he said, "I love it here, and so I wanted this to be the place where I told you something." Dean huffed in a big breath, then huffed it out and said, "I think I'm bisexual." Dean couldn't look at Cas.  
"Okay." Cas said.  
"Okay? That's it? Okay? No 'Are you sures?' Or anything?" Dean sounded very surprised.  
"Did you expect me to freak out?" Cas asked. "Dean you do know we have made out a couple of times and last night wasn't exactly straight." Cas couldn't help but laugh and blush. He was so happy. He helped somebody come out. He felt very needed and important. "I'm very glad you told me though. Thank you Dean."  
"Dammit Cas, you're making this too easy." Dean pouted.  
"What do you mean? Do you want it to be hard? My coming out was hard. I don't want you to go through that. I want this to be as easy for you as it can be. It's nothing to be ashamed about." Cas said intently staring at Dean, who had his eyes in a different direction. Cas could tell that he was holding back tears. "Dean, why do you want to make this harder than it has to be?" Cas asked.  
"I'm trying to get enough courage to come out to my mom and brother. I'm scared Cas. I'm just scared. And you make this so easy. I'm like 'I'm bisexual' and you're like 'cool', can you make it harder? For when I do come out to my mom." Dean was practically begging him.  
"Dean, I'm not going to do that. I have never met your mother. But I don't have to. I know that she is a very sweet woman who will accept you for who you are no matter what." Cas was really trying to get that into Dean's head.  
"How do you know?!" Dean was getting angry.  
"Because!" Cas yelled.  
"But how?!!" Dean is screaming now too.  
"Because, she raised such a loving and caring son! Who cares about everyone! Who would do anything for anyone!" Cas' eyes softened. "Even if he didn't know them." Cas' voice was softer now. "I mean. Look at what you have done for your brother." Cas said.  
"But he's my brother. I have to be there for him. It's only right." Dean said with a slight hint of anger left in his voice.  
"Okay," Cas started, "then what about me? Huh? Look at all the wonderful things you have done for me." Cas finished.  
"Oh, whatever Cas. I didn't do anything for you." Dean's head fell.  
"Are you serious Dean?! You have done so much for me and I have only known you for a few days. You have befriended me, treated me good, been an amazing person to talk to. And you, yenno..." Cas wavered.  
"I what Cas? I was late when we were supposed to hangout. I made you cry-" Dean started.  
"You made me feel loved." Dean smiled. "I need you in my life. More than you know." Cas said finally getting through Dean's stubbornness.  
"Thank you Cas." Was all Dean said before he kissed Cas, nice and slow. Full of emotion and love. Dean and Cas moved their mouthed together in unison. Gentle and caring. Cas tongued at Dean's lips seeking entrance. Dean moaned quietly and let Cas in. Their tongues caressed each others beautifully. "Oh my god." Dean said as they pulled away. "Cas please. Come back. I want more." Dean pouted.  
"Okay, I won't complain." Cas said as he leaned back in and took Deans lips with his own. 

The boys made out for a while nice and slow, but they both began to get desperate. Dean climbed over Cas' body and started to lightly rut into him. The friction made the boys moan. "Mmh, Dean." Cas mewled.  
"Mmh, tell me what you want baby." Dean said and his voice was several octaves lower than before.  
"I need a second." Cas said, trying to sit up with Dean on top of him.  
"Okay, are you okay?" Dean asked crouching back on his side of the bench seat. "Did I do something wrong?" Dean asked, clearly worried that he had upset Cas.  
"No! No, it's just, the other day, you said that you were afraid of the sexual aspects of a male, male pairing. I just want to tell you that I am too. I don't want to go too fast and ruin what we have. Because I really like what we have." Cas confessed.  
"Okay baby, no problem. Because yeah, I am scared. Should we talk about it?" Cas was too focused on Dean's hands as he spoke. His hands were big, calloused and strong. They looked heavy as they rested on the slight tent of his jeans. "Cas?" Dean asked, bringing Cas back to reality.  
"Hmm?" Cas asked. Looking in Dean's eyes.  
"You weren't listening, were you? Too busy staring at my cock?" Dean said with a smirk on his face.  
"What no, I wasn't-" Cas was cut off.  
"Mmh, sure, I have eyes Cas" Dean laughed.  
"I wasn't looking at your..." Cas started.  
"You can say cock Cas. But if you weren't looking at my cock what were you looking at?" Dean teased.  
"I wasn't looking at your... your cock." Cas could barely get the word out. That word had such an effect on him. Specially coming out of Dean's mouth. "I was looking at your hands." Cas confessed.  
"My hands?" Dean seemed shocked. "Why my hands?" Dean asked.  
"They look nice." Cas wasn't looking at Dean because he was clearly embarrassed. "They look big and strong. Like they could hold anything. I like them." Cas was completely flushed.  
Dean didn't say anything. He held out his hands. "May I?" Cas asked. Dean motioned for him to touch them. So Cas held out his hands experimentally. When he finally touched them he smiled. "They are lovely." Cas said looking at Dean.  
"Lovely? Sounds kinda girly. I have always had rough hands." Dean said looking at them himself.  
"I love them, they are rough, calloused. And strong." Cas and Dean were just holding hands now. Just exploring eachothers hands.  
"Cas?" Dean started, Cas looked up, "Can we talk about us?" Dean asked. Cas nodded. "Okay. Well, what are you afraid of? Like in the sexual stuff?" Dean asked.  
Cas didn't answer for a while. Just running his fingers over Dean's. "I'm afraid that I won't be what someone wants. Or not what they are expecting. I'm scared of my inexperience." Cas said. Still looking at Dean's hands. "You?" Cas asked. Not moving his gaze.  
"I'm just nervous in general. I haven't had sex before. And from what I have seen in porn it looks hard. But fun. I don't know how guys do it though. And I don't know if I'm a - what did you call it? A bottom? Or a top? What if we are both one? And not one of each?" Dean said looking at Cas' features.  
Cas' head shot up, "You want to have sex with me?" Cas asked surprised.  
"I-umm." Cas looked at Dean with his eyebrows pulled together and his head tilted to one side. Waiting for Dean's answer. "Yes?" Dean scrambled. "I mean? Do you want to have sex with me?" Dean asked. Hope clearly in his voice.  
"I-well yeah, eventually." Cas said. Lowering his head.  
"Sounds great baby. I can't wait." Dean said with a big smile on his face. "Cas I have one more question for you..." Dean was waiting for the okay. Cas just nodded still exploring Dean's hands. "Okay, well, do you want to be my secret boyfriend? But a secret for a while, until I come out to my mom?" Dean was looking down at his hands as he spoke.  
"Yes Dean, a thousand times yes. That would make me the happiest person in the whole world!" Cas nearly tackled Dean, but he sufficed with a hug. "Yes, yes, yes." Was all he could say. They stayed wrapped up in their hug until it was time to drive back to the school for the second half of the day.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean comes out to his family.

Dean woke up early today, and began to rehearse what he was going to say to his mother. "Mom, I love you, and I appreciate everything that you have ever done for me. I have been thinking a lot lately. And I think that you should know something about me that you may not know..." Suddenly there was a knock at Dean's door.  
"Hey honey, why are you up so early?" Mary asked, peaking her head into his room.  
"I'm have an internal meltdown." Dean said sheepishly.  
"Should I sit down?" Mary asked.  
"Probably." Dean huffed out a big breath. As soon as Mary sat down, Dean began to cry. "Mom I am so sorry. I can't help it."  
"Dean, sweetie, what are you talking about?" Mary asked just letting him cry and tell her whatever he wanted to at his own pace.  
Dean wept, "I like... I like..."  
"It's okay Dean. You can tell me." Mary soothed.  
"I like Cas... Like a lot. I want to be with him..." Dean was sobbing.  
Mary just laughed. Dean looked up at her. "Dean, I know that. And I encourage you 100%, I love you."  
"You... You do?" Dean asked, clearly shocked at what his mother had said.  
"Yes, and I am offended that you would even think that I would treat you differently. So, what is your sexuality?" Mary asked.  
"I can't say it." Dean said.  
"Yes you can, it will help I promise." Mary said.  
"Okay, I'm... I'm bisexual." Dean breathed out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in.  
"Feel a little bit better?" Mary asked getting up from her seat on Dean's bed.  
"Actually yes, thank you Mom." Dean wiped the tears from his face. "How am I gonna tell Sam?" Dean panicking again.  
"Just talk to him, he will still love you just as much as you love him." Mary said matter of factly.  
"Okay..." Dean said. Still not convinced.  
____________________________________________________________________  
"Good morning Sam." Dean said ruffling Sam's hair.  
"Dude, stop!" Sam said trying to fix his hair.  
"Sorry Sammy, can I talk to you for a minute?" Dean asked, "Meet me in my room in 2 minutes." Dean said going back upstairs to his room with a cup of coffee in his hand.  
"Okay...?" Sam said to his Mom as he got up to follow Dean.  
____________________________________________________________________  
"Dean, did you honestly think I didn't know?" Sam asked after Dean had told him that he liked guys and girls.  
"What?" Dean asked. "Is it obvious or something?"  
"For me it is, my gaydar is very good. I need it to be. But I don't think people would notice your gayness if they didn't know you very well." Sam said getting up and walking towards Dean's bedroom door.  
"Wait, why does your gaydar have to be good?" Dean was intrigued.  
"Wow, Dean your gaydar sucks." Sam said. Dean realized what Sam was trying to say. He looked so shocked. "You didn't know?" Sam asked and Dean shook his head. "Well, now you do, I'm gay Dean. I'm sorry, I thought you knew. That's why I got beat up the other day. Zach heard that I was gay so he beat me up. That's okay though, you took care of him. That homophobic piece of crap." Sam got a little mad talking about Zach.  
"Sammy, I had no idea, why didn't you tell me before now? You could have helped me." Dean chuckled.  
"Sorry Dean, I honestly thought you already knew." Sam said, "C'mon, we should start getting to school."  
So Dean and Sam went down the stairs.


	9. Chapter 9

“Hey Cas how are you doing today?” Dean asks as Cas opened the passenger door to the Impala. Dean giving Cas a ride to school in the morning has become such a normal thing that Sam doesn’t even try to get in the front seat anymore. Dean noticed that Cas was wearing black jeans and a dark blue button up that contrasted well with his blue eyes.  
Cas let out a very exaggerated sigh as he sunk into the leather seat. “I just had the worst sleep of my life. My neck and shoulders are absolutely killing me. Please don’t say anything about your sleep and probably how fantastic it was. And if either one decide to talk to my cranky ass this morning. It better be important.” Cas huffed out another breath. Then Sam piped up from the backseat.  
“Dean has something important to tell you today Cas. But I doubt he’ll want to talk to you about it infront of his little gay brother… So I guess you’ll have to wait until lunch today… Since you’re so cranky that is Cas.” Dean could hear Sam chuckle from the backseat as Cas looked more and more eager as Sam talked.  
“What! Now you guys have to tell me!” Cas pouted. No sound came out of either Winchester. “This is so not fair Sam, how could you do that! That’s so mean!” Cas was clearly very excited to hear this news.  
“See, now look what you did Sammy! He’s gonna be pouting all day now, until I tell him that is.” Dean shot a look in the rearview mirror to his little brother. “Cas, you know, you don’t always get what you want just because you pout, and I don’t wanna tell you until you cheer up a little bit.”  
“Dean! I am happy I swear, please just tell me!” Cas pleaded while Dean had a smirk on his face. Again no Winchester spoke. “Fine, whatever, I don’t wanna know now anyway.” The Winchester’s held in their chuckles. “Oh by the way Sam, congrats on being gay and proud. I’m with you on that one.” Cas said with his crossed arms over his chest and his eyes out of the window.  
“Thanks Cas.” Sam smiled.  
________________________________________________________________________________________  
Cas had been waiting very impatiently for the lunch bell to ring. For two major reasons: for Dean to finally tell him what he was going to this morning, and for food. He was starving. When the bell rang Cas launched out of his chair and basically ran to Dean’s locker. Dean of course was leaning against it with a smug look on his face. “You better tell me what the hell is going on, because I am about to lose my mind with this suspense.” Cas said marching up to Dean.  
“Are you sure you want me to tell you Cas.” Cas just looked at Dean with an ‘obviously’ look and Dean gave in. “Alright…” Dean let out a long breath. “I came out to my family.”  
“Wow! Dean that is amazing!!” Cas hugged Dean really tight for a second and then took a quick step away from Dean.  
“Why did you just do that?” Dean asked, with his eyebrows scrunched together.  
“I’m not sure what this means. Are we out yet? Can I hold your hand? Kiss you? What do you want me to take away from this?” Cas was firing off so many questions that Dean didn’t have the answers to right now. Cas was still going off so Dean grabbed his face and kissed him. He kissed him so hard that there was no room for Cas to pull away or over think anything. Cas just melted into the kiss and thank Chuck that Dean was strong enough to hold him up because his knees got weak. When they pulled away Cas could hear all the cat calls and the excited whispers, but he didn’t care. “Wow Dean, you just went for that.” Cas smiled, “Let’s go get some food. Roadhouse?”  
“Ugh, I love you.” Dean said and then immediately felt horrified. He began to stammer, “I, uhh, Cas, I’m sorry, it just slipped out. I…” Cas cut him off with a kiss. He didn’t say anything, he just took Dean’s hand and lead him out to the parking lot where the Impala waited.  
________________________________________________________________________________________  
The ride to the Roadhouse was quiet and long. But Dean couldn’t stand it any longer. “Cas, I just wanna say I’m sorry for what happened at school. I didn’t mean to say what I said, it was so early and I put you on the spot. And I’m just so sorry. Please forgive me.” Dean risked a glance at Cas.  
Cas was staring at Dean with a slight head tilt. “I…” Dean sucked in a breath. “I don’t think I have anything to forgive you for. You didn’t do anything wrong. I want you to know that you didn’t do anything wrong Dean. If you truly believe what you said and that you do love me. I want you to know that I believe you and that I think I love you too.” Suddenly Cas was reaching towards Dean and he brought his hand up to his face and wiped the tears that Dean didn’t even know where falling from his eyes. “Pull over Dean.” Cas whispered. Dean did as he was told.  
Cas held Dean’s face in his hands as he stared into his eyes. He flicked his eyes down to his lips and leaned in. Dean met him half way and they kissed softly. “I love you.” Dean breathed out. Cas smiled.  
“I love you, and I can't help it.” Cas said as his gummy smile spread across his face. Then he went back to kissing Dean.


End file.
